Happy 21st January 2024 dear folks! 😊 Only 2 more months till Spring Solstice and the light is stretching a little more each evening, although the morning walks with the dog are still in the dark for now. This is my first sharing of 2024, and it's a Sunday Well Woman sharing with you this week, instead of Wednesday. But I’ll get back to the pattern eventually… I find January a funny old month. Perhaps like the animals or our ancient ancestors, I prefer to unfurl and emerge slowly into the world these days, rather than with a big bang on 1st Jan 😄 It just feels more forgiving and nurturing in this time of being embedded in winter while looking towards spring.

I had vague plans to do a post on New Year’s resolutions for the very beginning of the year. To be honest, though, I'm not keen on New Year's Resolutions, and most people admit they don't stick to them past Jan/Feb! 😄 According to a 2022 survey, 21% of people in the UK were setting a resolution for 2023, many being health- and wellbeing-related (YouGov, 2022). Of those who set resolutions for the previous year, just 21% actually kept them.

Working through the Your Body Never Lies programme (https://www.facebook.com/yourbodyneverlies), and then refining my understanding as a Faculty member this past year, has helped me identify some things about myself that I pretty much knew, and some close friends pointed out to me, but I didn't really want to accept. I’m sharing this with you because everyone is a work in progress and, if you’ve had similar habits, it’s good to hear someone else’s process. Or perhaps you observe people around you who are like this and might understand them better. Important to the idea of setting resolutions is that, thanks to my childhood programming, I've spent a lifetime being the double-whammy of a people pleaser and a perfectionist. I thought this was the way to get attention and affection: do what makes others happy at any cost and push myself hard to achieve in order to gain praise. That’s included setting high and often impossible targets for myself and then punishing myself when I didn’t achieve them, or simply putting my needs totally aside for others and then feeling rubbish as a result. Sound familiar at all? These habits aren't actually very helpful or self-compassionate. So I've spent the last few months working to untease such tendencies from my body – because they are very much in there – mind and daily habits. That’s included:

... looking at New Year’s resolutions through a different lens 😄

Instead of starting the year setting out hard to reach goals for myself, I've been gently, internally, allowing some nourishing intentions to emerge for 2024. A bit like a small plant waking up under the soil and slowly starting to unfurl and think about coming into the sunlight… As I entered 2024, I reflected on what I’d like to see being different in my life, what my needs and responsibilities are (a balance, not one or the other), and how I’d like to feel this year.

Not what I want to achieve, but how I'd like to feel.

In Yoga, we talk about a Sankalpa and I’ll quite often bring this into a class or healing session to set the focus. Sankalpa is Sanskrit for what is often translated in English as intention, affirmation or resolution. Actually, it has a deeper, more nuanced meaning than we can really convey in one English word. Underpinning the Sankalpa intention are the concepts of us having higher self and how we commit to that. As such, our Sankalpa is more of a sacred agreement we make, which ideally resonates with mind, body and spirit, so that we can remain as close as possible to the highest, most enlightened form, of our self. That puts a new spin on the annual resolution, doesn’t it?! Perhaps this sounds even harder than setting a resolution to train for a run or to learn something new?! It doesn’t have to be tough though, infact it might be quite the opposite and something that naturally arises within us. Taking actions towards our highest self can be about, for example, recognising when we need to nurture our well-being in mind, body and spirit by accepting who we are in this moment and in our current circumstances, rather than aiming to be holier than thou and flawless. Perhaps it means setting a commitment to give ourselves some quiet time each day to not do - rather than setting a resolution to do-do-do more so we can compete or strive or win or look better than someone else.

One of my fundamental intentions has emerged as being gentler on myself and more compassionate. That means, for example, giving myself - as I so often suggest to my coaching clients - baby steps to work on, rather than colossal ones! 🙄😀🙏❤️ #healerhealthyself #practicewhatyoupreach And to go gently on myself when I have lots of responsibilities to juggle: it's okay to sit down and have a cuppa, it's okay to stop and meditate and quietly be in the Universe rather than squeeze in a social media post instead of having a rest, or creating new content to be like other people out there, or getting something done that I really want to do but it's proving hard in the time I have.

"It's okay woman! You are doing your best in this precise NOW moment!"

Whilst my intentions were brewing and emerging, I heard an interesting and inspiring interview on #radio6 about why people’s New Year’s fitness Resolutions often fizzle out rapidly. Jimmy Watkins of the #runningpunks shared that he goes on a training run wearing simple clothes, like joggers and a hoodie, rather than having to get kitted up in super serious performance gear. Then, if he goes for a run one day and realises in himself that he’s just not feeling it, and given he’s dressed casually, he'll simply pop into a corner shop, buy a newspaper and go sit in a cafe and chill out.

LOVED THIS!

What I loved about this story was that it was about setting intentions but also not beating ourselves up. Hearing this made me say:

"Yes! That's it. Have a goal, set out to work on it every day, but then take it gently and give myself room to stop and live life in the slow lane too when needed!".

This just feels in my body to be so much more productive long term. It feels like those intentions can naturally emerge and bloom gently, with self love and compassion at the core.

Life often isn't easy, so why make it harder? We are almost always our own harshest critics too! So how about 2024 being a year of gently-emerging intentions that help us connect and commit to our higher self: a Sankalpa rather than another tool for self criticism? Let’s create intentions and affirmations that add to the amazing colours of life, rather than getting in the way of even seeing them 😊🙏❤️

#sankalpa
#Intentions2024
#enjoytheprocess
#lifesajourney

References:

YouGov (2002) How many Britons have made New Year’s resolutions for 2023?

https://yougov.co.uk/society/articles/44866-how-many-britons-have-made-new-years-resolutions-2?redirect_from=%2Ftopics%2Fsociety%2Farticles-reports%2F2022%2F12%2F28%2Fhow-many-britons-have-made-new-years-resolutions-2